Tucked away in Camberwell, the Golden Goose Theatre proves to be the perfect spot for this intimate, small-scale production. A quirky gem of a venue, it immediately feels homely, boasting a welcoming bar, a pool table, a disco ball and even a resident ginger Maine Coon cat named Muffin. The space sets exactly the right relaxed, community-driven tone before the show even begins.
Proving you don’t need a lavish West End budget to create theatrical magic, this production relies on high-octane performances, sharp wit and a series of genius props that make the fictional Honeypot Club truly come alive.
From the moment the lights go down, the audience is thrust into a high-energy “Welcome to Twinkenham” backdrop, kicking off with a vibrant “Sparkle and Shine” opening number. The show knows its audience, warmly welcoming the “lesbos” and the “non-binary finary” alike. Leading the charge is Goldicocks, who recounts a hilariously fictional stint on RuPaul’s Drag Race (Series 427!), wearing flawless makeup, a sparkly gold outfit and shimmering tights while commanding the room with fantastic audience interaction and fast-paced comedy.
The Honeypot Club is brought to life with little more than a reception desk, changing backdrops and a handful of props, including a dildo and two bottles of vodka. Guarding the establishment is a “scratch and sniff” elite security team, introducing the audience to the three bears, each representing distinct lesbian fashion archetypes.
The visual highlights culminate in a fantastic ensemble dance celebrating the diversity of LGBTQ+ patrons who call the Honeypot home. Costuming is a real standout, from a wonderfully “slutty” Britney Spears-inspired look to a brilliantly butch bear sporting a harness.
Meanwhile, Fem Bear easily establishes themself as the crowd favourite. Not only do they possess the strongest singing voice in the cast, but they also anchor the show’s emotional core. Dressed in a glittering diva-style gown and pearls, they deliver saucy jokes, including a memorable FemFresh gag, while making the audience genuinely feel the heartbreak of losing an authentic space to belong.
One of the production’s greatest strengths is its fantastic comedy writing. Goldicocks brilliantly captures the trials and tribulations of LGBTQ+ nightlife and culture, poking fun at the quirks, stereotypes and shared experiences of the scene in a way that feels affectionate, insightful and consistently entertaining. It’s sharp, self-aware humour that resonates with those who know the community while remaining accessible and hilarious for everyone else.
Count Block is a fantastic villain, thriving on audience interaction and brilliantly timed improvised insults. More than just camp chaos, though, the show cleverly uses the threat of closing the Honeypot Club as a metaphor for the loss of LGBTQ+ venues through gentrification. Coffee shops, Pilates studios and “Spanish lattes” become the butt of the joke, while the script pokes fun at corporate culture and over-zealous health and safety rules.
The only real criticism is that some ensemble numbers suffer from sound balance issues. A highly inventive comedic “orgasm song” was occasionally overpowered by the backing track, meaning some of its funniest lyrics were lost.
Otherwise, the classic panto format is executed brilliantly. Wig changes, operatic parody, audience participation and the inevitable “He’s behind you!” all land perfectly. Act Two keeps the pace high with a hilarious Von Trapp-inspired musical moment and a stunning costume change that sees Goldicocks emerge in an unforgettable red PVC look.
The biggest laugh of the night belongs to the inspired “ghosties” sequence. Featuring the audience enthusiastically shouting, “There was a ghost! Oh no there f***ing wasn’t! Oh yes there was!”, each character is hilariously kidnapped one by one beneath a rogue white duvet. It’s simple, silly, but pure fringe comedy gold.
The finale erupts into an infectious rendition of “You Can’t Stop the Beat”, with the audience on its feet and clapping along, before a spectacular “Motion of the Ocean” dance routine brings the house down. The electric atmosphere ends with a thoroughly deserved standing ovation.
Ultimately, Goldicocks and the Three Bears is a rare gem. Bursting with infectious energy, razor-sharp humour and genuine heart, it leaves you wishing you could stay for a night out at the Honeypot Club yourself. A light-hearted, delightfully silly and hugely feel-good triumph, it’s a must-watch piece of queer fringe theatre.
Review by Joanna Birch
Welcome to Twinkenham, a town with picture-perfect streets, zero Grindr matches… and one legendary gay bar fighting for its life.
When fabulous drag diva Goldicocks sets off to find love with the dreamy Prince Hardup, she discovers something far more urgent: the beloved nightclub The Honey Pot is under threat. An evil property developer is determined to bulldoze the bar and replace it with the ultimate nightmare… a vegan brunch café.
Now it’s up to Goldicocks and the iconic trio of Bears who run the club to save their glitter-soaked sanctuary before last orders are called forever.
Expect outrageous comedy, drag queens, filthy jokes, audience participation, big musical numbers and more innuendo than you can shake a porridge spoon at. This isn’t your childhood fairy tale, it’s a full-blown, glitter-bombed night out.
Cast includes: Addi Moulds, Chloe Bareham, Shannon Cox, Katie Dowse, Chidera Okoye, Remy Goff, Larelle Capleton, Oliwia Krzyziszczak, David Townsend, Jeremy Owusu
Written and directed by Addi Moulds
Designed by Addi Moulds and Chloe Bareham
Lighting and sound designed by Chloe Bareham
GOLDICOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS
Golden Goose Theatre
17 to 19 June 2026
