Jeffrey Bernard was a journalist best known for his acerbic writing and his louche lifestyle of drinking, gambling, womanising and did I mention his drinking because he did like a drink or two or three or four or more. Fellow journalist and friend, Keith Waterhouse wrote a play about him named after the line The Spectator magazine used when Bernard had drunk himself into a stupor and was unable to submit his “Low Life” column – Jeffrey Bernard Is Unwell. It was first performed in the West End at the Apollo Theatre in 1989 starring Peter O’Toole in the title role and was revived triumphantly at the Old Vic in 1999 with O’Toole starring again. It’s often thought of as a one-man show but there was a cast of five with the other four actors “The Company” playing a variety of roles. The premises is simple – Bernard has fallen asleep in the Gents in his favourite watering hole, the Coach & Horses in Soho and the infamous Norman Balon “the rudest landlord in London” has closed up and gone home. It’s now the middle of the night and Bernard is locked in with free rein to pour himself a vodka or two or three or four whilst regaling the audience with the story of his life – what he can remember of it that is. He does telephone Balon a few times to come and let him out, but his heart’s not really in it.
Now over twenty years later it is finally a one-man show starring Robert Bathurst as Bernard and he is telling his story in the most immersive of immersive theatre locations as we’re actually in the Coach & Horses and we’re locked in with Bernard as he tells his tale. It’s a superb concept to stage the show where it actually happened although at times a little odd as I was sitting opposite a photograph of the real Bernard as the actor portraying him spoke his words and prowled the very bar where Bernard spent a lot of his life in!
Bathurst is superb as the writer, walking amongst the audience in between returning to the optic behind the bar and refilling his glass with vodka all the while holding a cigarette. Cut down to just over an hour, Bathurst inhabits his character and it’s easy to believe we’re in Soho back in the day when Bernard held court dropping bon mots and eviscerating his friends and foes alike. There are some wonderful lines such as “And if anyone tries to say, ‘You only get out of life what you put into it’, I may well kill them” and “It always surprises people that I’m a domestic animal. I cook, I clean, I sow, I reap” amongst many others. Along the way, Bathurst (or is it Bernard) impersonates the likes of Lester Piggott, Francis Bacon and Muriel Belcher the incredibly rude and sharp-tongued woman who ran The Colony Room, another of Bernard’s favourite hangouts.
Waterhouse’s writing, Bernard’s personality, Bathurst’s bravura performance and the setting make for a wonderful evening’s entertainment. The only thing that didn’t quite work are the answerphone messages Bernard plays in a cassette player; it feels somewhat artificial and slows the narrative down a little. However, it’s just a minor wrinkle and Bathurst takes us along with him on Bernard’s journey – O’Toole’s shoes are big ones to fill but Bathurst fills them to the brim (along with his glass of vodka). Jeffrey Bernard may be unwell but the play is in rude health.
Review by Alan Fitter
Meet Jeffrey Bernard… a notorious and feckless Soho face. A journalist who doesn’t know the meaning of the word deadline and would much rather be drinking vodka on the rocks in his favourite Soho watering holes. A throwback of a man who after four marriages and a life of non-stop carousing is starting to feel a touch jaded. Having fallen asleep in the Gents and waking up in the middle of the night inside the legendary Coach and Horses on Greek Street, Jeffrey Bernard is not a man to waste the deserted hours ahead of him before Norman the landlord opens up again in the morning.
Jeffrey Bernard is Unwell
By Keith Waterhouse
Directed and adapted by James Hillier
Performances:
29/30/31 October
5/6/7 November
12/13/14 November
19/20/21 November
The Coach & Horses
29 Greek Street,
Soho, London, W1D 5DH
http://www.jeffreyplay.com/
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