Suppose you were to come into money – a life-changing sum. What would you do? James (Jordan Tweddle) would move away from Workington, a coastal town in Cumbria. The main industries in the area used to be coal and steel, before the 1980s came along and cheaper production elsewhere in the world combined with Government policy and effectively turned places like Workington into areas of high unemployment. A generation later, the situation has, as this production would have it, only alleviated somewhat. James and his lover Kamran (Suraj Shah) have jobs, but their income is unstable due to zero-hour contracts and the gig economy.
Shah also plays nine other characters, including a stereotypical Sloane Ranger. The overall narrative strongly suggests other stereotypes: in bringing a play commissioned by Theatre by the Lake, in Keswick, Cumbria, to North London, the production team haven’t exactly portrayed Cumbria in the most positive light. Indeed, one would be forgiven for thinking Cumbria isn’t worth going to, unless, like the Sloane Ranger in the show, one has specific business to conduct there. But surely, they can’t all be racist homophobes in Cumbria, and there surely can’t be any more racist homophobes there than there are anywhere else.
It is not, of course, the responsibility of any play to do the job of a region’s tourist board, and perhaps the point the production is really trying to make is that despite the picturesque scenery, living in Cumbria is not without its challenges. Some of the play’s humour, however, was lost on me – I can’t imagine anyone of any social status “drinking pints of mushroom risotto”. And why, aside from misgendering, which can potentially get one ‘cancelled’ these days, does James suddenly yell, “Beatrix Potter can go f*ck himself!”?
There’s an implausibly speedy pub crawl through Workington, and an equally implausible happy ending, which in itself is only happy if one accepts that money can buy happiness after all. Told at such speed, with zero set or costume changes throughout, it wasn’t always clear what exactly was going on at any given moment. But it needed to be immediately clear in order to keep up with it. The takeaway message seemed to be that the world at large is a more than a little bit sh*t, which is a point I could have deduced by staying home and watching the news. Both actors do well at plumbing the emotional depths of their characters. Perhaps I’m too London-centric, but elements of this show left me rather baffled.
Review by Chris Omaweng
Two lads. Twelve hours. One million points.
On the rain-drenched West Cumbrian coast, James and Kamran have been mates for more than a decade. They’re seventeen, so the world should be theirs – but Workington is a ghost town, an unemployment blackspot where lasses drink Bacardi by the pint and boys don’t cry.
When James discovers he is heir to a single mile of the British railway network, the lads set out on a high-stakes chase through town, where annihilated aunties, Snakebite-drenched drag queens and a zombie Princess Diana are lying in wait.
CAST
Kamran – Suraj Shah
James – Jordan Tweddle
CREATIVE TEAM
Written by Lee Mattinson
Director – Liz Stevenson
Designer – Simon Kenny
Composer and Sound Designer – Mark Melville
Lighting Designer – Jessie Addinall
Movement Director – Kieran Sheehan
Assistant Director – Mark Macey
STEEL
Park90, Park Theatre
11 to 14 June 2025
