How to Date follows the lives and fortunes of two young women, roommates Clarissa and Emily, as they navigate tumultuous life in London, trying to find their place in Metropolitan society; a job and, via a detailed exploration of the modern dating scene, a boyfriend. The play explores how their initially optimistic outlook on life and love changes when they encounter the darker side of making their mark in a harsh, unforgiving, still male-dominated world.
Clarissa is a grounded, somewhat cynical and clear-eyed North London woman, studying to be an accountant and, whilst interested in developing relationships, has no need of men to develop and deliver her own self-validation.
By contrast, Emily is a rather spoiled girl from Cheltenham, able to pursue her goal of becoming an actress through financial support from her parents. There is more than a suggestion of a narcissistic princess in Emily. She has a somewhat romantic view of dating and relationships, and, unlike Clarissa, who is content to play fast and loose a little carelessly with safety on nights out, Emily is looking for a romantic, meaningful, stable relationship, which she soon finds with security guard Max.
The realisation that we are not going to be witness to a light-hearted romp through disastrous dates and terribly disappointing men is set out in the first scene, as Clarissa is being given the all clear after a chlamydia test only to be told that she’s in the early stages of pregnancy. Horrified, she immediately demands an abortion, thereby establishing the fact that there are going to be distinct elements of light and shade in this production as the plot develops.
As Emily becomes ever more closely involved with Max, spending more time with him and neglecting her relationship with her roommate, Clarissa’s life begins to unravel and spirals downwards. First, she is fired from an internship that could have launched her career following several uncomfortable moments and altercations with her racist and sexist boss. She then finds herself pregnant by a man whose interest in her immediately evaporates when she breaks the news to him. Unwillingly, she takes a job in a pub where the bar manager’s initially friendly and supportive overtures come with a price. When she turns down his advances, Clarissa is subject to a sexual assault.
It is not until the scales fall from Emily’s eyes, and she realises that Max is not the paragon of virtue that she had imagined him to be, that she becomes aware of what Clarissa has been going through, and even then, there is a sting in the tale that threatens to derail their resurrected alliance….
As Emily and Clarissa, respectively, Stephanie McNeil and Mia-Rose Davson are convincing in their characterisation. The dialogue is both pacy and naturalistic, with their back-and-forth banter coming across as authentic and amusing,
They effectively point out the darker sides of the piece, with Emily’s breaking of the fourth wall towards the end reflecting upon her own perceived failures in her life and relationships up to now being especially poignant.
However, at times, both actors had problems with their projection, which needed to be louder and more defined, particularly in the more intimate moments of discussion and reflection.
A word of praise here for Mike Aina (Max and Rushane) and Danny Jeffs (Henry and the bar manager), who, between them, play all the men who pass through the women’s lives at work or in clubs and pubs.
Whilst the tropes of certain specific male behaviours are rather crudely sketched (chauvinist, misogynist, sexist, sexual predator, decent but eventually untrustworthy partner), the characterisations are clearly articulated, and never fall into parody, providing the platform and motive force for the girls’ different experiences.
The set is simplistic and appropriately evocative of London flat share life; a messy living room, a bar and a coffee shop. Isabel Steuble-Johnson’s astute direction moves Emily and Clarissa naturally and easily between the locations, ensuring a clear basis for the plot to develop. The narrative flowed smoothly and energetically.
There are some clever ideas incorporated into the action. The visualisation of Clarissa’s dating app swiping and scrolling, with a different male characterisation at the front of the stage representing each new portrait examined, was adroitly and amusingly done.
How to Date effectively captures the realities of growing up as a woman in 21st-century London. It seeks ambitiously to consider a number of key themes in 90 minutes: friendship, relationships, insecurity, ambition, mental health, trauma and the inherent dangers of dating mechanisms and conventions.
The sheer volume of the areas covered poses its own pitfalls. There are simply too many plots and subplots going on to deliver a fully coherent message. This results in a somewhat lightweight consideration being given to some of the major issues raised. The sexual assault scene, for example, together with its inconclusive follow-up, is somewhat rushed through. Similarly, the plot” twist” of Max and Emily’s breakup is signalled in advance and does not come as a surprise.
Without doubt, there are some very strong and important ideas in this play, and they are broadly communicated well and in an enthusiastic manner. However, more heft and consideration needs to be given to identifying and concentrating upon just one or two of the narrative threads to anchor the piece and provide a more sharpened focus to its key messaging. This is a play that would benefit from there being a little bit more grit in its structural oyster.
Review by Johnny Oxford
The pressures of modern-day dating on female friendships and self-confidence.
An entertaining and compelling dark comedy about two young women finding confidence to live the lives they want without being unhealthily dependent on men for self-validation. Clarissa, an independent girl from North London meets Emily, a spoiled girl from Cheltenham, who dreams of being a film star. Searching for partners, they face the disastrous dating scene in London. Disappointed by dating apps, a spiral of events escalates in Clarissa’s life putting her job and friendship with Emily at risk. When secrets from the past arise, we learn of the importance of opening up to others. The story is inspired by writer Stephanie McNeil’s own experiences and aims to raise awareness for other young women.
HOW TO DATE
Canada Water Theatre
3 and 4 June 2026
